Fear

I am afraid.

Everything from insecurities to full-blown terror, I have that as well as everything in between.

All of them are serious, and I would have my feelings hurt if someone laughed at any of these;

Death
Blood (other than my own and only with humans)
Big spiders (especially the ones with an evil smile on their backs. Ech!)
chest to chest hugs (I like the accessibility of movement and feel trapped in a hug)
loud noises (not thunder)
being deceived
dating (mostly because I don't know what that's supposed to be like)
being left alone for long periods of time
horror movies or any that have a higher rating than PG 13
not being able to talk/ sing
math homework (JK LOL you can laugh at this one because it was thrown in there for comedic relief)
sharks
getting too close/comfortable with someone
trusting someone
The Devil himself
not being trusted or loved

Yes, that is quite the list. There are still more, but I'll spare you extra reading so you can get on with your lives. So, why am I not afraid to share this with the world?

Well, for one thing, I am anonymous, so I don't expect some random baddie to use this against me. Secondly, none who read this know where I live, or even if I have a set place TO live. Lastly, I think most of you are good guys, so I am giving all of you the opportunity to empathize. (also, I am trying to overcome my fears of trusting people and being deceived) So thank you in advance. Enough about me though, let's get to the meat of this post.

Why do people have fears?

Well, someone I look up to had this to say:
Our fears as adults were what scared us as children. The mind of a child is soft and impressionable, while the mind of an adult is as solid as rock. Things that marked us as children will forever be preserved as "fossils" in adults. So, I took that to mean if you were never afraid of anything as a child, you would be the same way when you grow up.

What about people who get over their fears?

You tell me.

Alive

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Am I alive? I am checking for a pulse right now, but feel nothing. That's ok I know I am still alive.

There's lots of things that live without a heart; plants, jellyfish, single-celled organisms... souls...yeah, lots of things. There would be a problem though, if I was a human in my life-long situation. I have a heart (I think) and It works (sometimes), but there are many times when it just seems to 

Stop!

Those fancy machines that claim to be able to properly read a heartbeat will read mine as 0 for a while, then as 180 or 200 other times. But you know, I sure am glad that while humans need technology to tell them if they are alive, I can tell just by my being.

What matters? A steady and readable heartbeat? Do I need that to be somebody? If I do, then I am nobody, and everyone that has interacted with me can be classified as crazy because they made very human gestures to nothing. A non living entity.

Stop checking your own heartbeat, fact of the matter is, if the humans reading this blog post can just summon the thought of doing such a pointless action, they are assured to be alive. What they really should be doing is making sure everyone else is.

The sad truth is that even though you or somebody you love still has a heartbeat, that does not make them alive. That is not who they are. I have loved ones who still have a heartbeat but who are already gone from my life.

I AM ALIVE!

I feel pain! I have all the emotions of a mammal and "living" tendencies of a plant! I have thoughts and pictures in my head! I have memories that haunt me from the time I was small. I have entire universes winding their way through the vast expanses of my imagination! Is that enough proof of the authenticity of my being "ALIVE"?

I don't know

I'll let you decide.

Bricks...

Are AMAZING story and life components!

Whether it's about a pig who built a house to keep out the big, bad wolf, or tearing down the wall between you and that one person who just won't let you in, bricks have so much symbolism in many cultures. One thing we all agree on, Bricks are mostly used to build things, but sometimes, the things we build with them must be destroyed.

Metaphorically speaking.

Honestly though, someone should really start building their bridges out of bricks so that no one can come and burn them down. Seriously, using wood is overrated.

Another thing that has been bugging me, even destroyed bricks have a use.

No rocks for your fish tank? Use a crushed up brick instead. Need sand? Feed pieces of brick to a parrot fish. Door stop? Colorful gravel? Algae cultivation? The brick can serve all of these functions and more! The brick is there for your convenience, and will save you money.

Use the friggin brick.

Love

What is Love?

What does Love feel like?

Is Love even a feeling?

So many questions, such a complicated topic.

Where to start?

Well, I took the liberty of searching for the definition of "Love" this was the result:

love

ləv/

noun

1. 1.

   an intense feeling of deep affection.

   "babies fill parents with intense feelings of love"

   synonyms:

   deep affection, fondness, tenderness, warmth, intimacy, attachment,endearment.
2. 2.

   a person or thing that one loves.

   "she was the love of his life"

   synonyms:

   beloved, loved one, love of one's life, dear, dearest, dear one, darling,sweetheart, sweet, angel, honey.

verb   (this uses the same word to describe the word it is trying to define, making this definition pointless)

1. 1.

   feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to (someone).

   "do you love me?"

   synonyms:

   care very much for, feel deep affection for, hold very dear, adore, think the world of, be devoted to, dote on, idolize, worship. However, Google search defines Love as a noun, witch is a person, place, thing, or action. Not a feeling, witch is how it is described. Well... that was useless. So I dug deeper, and since Love is not a person, place, or thing, I can only look at it as an action. Because it is Love is something you do, not something you feel. Love is being patient, kind, Love is slow to anger. Love is truth, and being faithful. When you choose to Love somebody, you are making a commitment to always think the best of that person, you give them small parts of yourself, your trust, your promises, your time, the feelings come soon after. When a couple get married based on just a feeling, their relationship crumbles to dust, because that is all it has to stand on. Beauty fades, withers away, beauty is nothing. Unless you Love Then, only then, will they stay beautiful in your eyes.